Modding on the Spectrum

I haven't slept much in the last couple of days. The neighbour is very inconsiderate. He slams his doors, stamps his foot and clatters very loudly in the middle of the night. In the past, he made noise and I made noise in revenge. I stopped doing the revenge part but he didn't stop and made it even worse. He is now slamming his door in the night, too (which he didn't do before).

I've been keeping a noise log for a about a week now. I've already written a few things down. I will keep the noise log for two to three weeks and then submit it to the landlord.

The problem is that I have great difficulty falling back asleep after being woken up. I can't calm down because I'm too emotionally upset.

Yesterday morning I cried for half an hour because I was just emotionally exhausted.

Today I even begged him to let me sleep. It has helped a little. I was able to sleep for about 4 to 5 hours. Then he returned to his usual behavior and woke me up with a slamming door at about half past six in the morning. I then told him that he had woken me up by slamming the door and caused my heart to race. He then closed the door more quietly. A few hours later, I heard such a loud crash that it felt like my walls were shaking.

Before I left the house today, I apologized to him for my outbursts of anger in the past and told him that it wasn't a good idea to react to his disturbance of the peace with anger, which I have now realized. Because my anger has contributed to this current situation. And maybe he also wants revenge for the letter of complaint from the landlord.

I'm really on the brink of a nervous breakdown now.

Do you know any things that can calm me down enough to get back to sleep when I'm upset? What else can I do apart from the noise log?

Partly translated from German with DeepL.com (free version), as I don't have the mental capacity to express everything in English at the moment.

Well that totally sucks, I could recommend soft earplugs, and white noise. Chamomile tea, and tryptophan...

But nothing will help if he's slamming doors... A shotgun maybe? As you say, the complaints may just make it worse. Try sitting down with him over a nice cuppa tea and explaining the situation. Let him know you don't want to complain, but you're loosing too much sleep. Try and involve him in the solution rather than being the problem. I understand it's simply a shifting of perspective, but the stress of not being able to do anything needs to be addressed. At least if dialog is open, there is the possibility of progress.

Sorry love, I don't really have a push button solution other than to not let this become combative.

Thank you for your advice, Avrie. I haven't invited him for a cup of tea, but the walls are thin enough for him to understand what I'm saying. I apologized again for my tantrums in the past because I wasn't sure if he caught it the first time. I described how loud the door slamming sounds to me. It sounds as loud as hitting the wall with a hammer. During the night, I didn't hear the door slam, but instead I heard another banging. I asked him if he could at least be quiet at night so that I can sleep. He confirmed this by knocking softly twice in quick succession. After that, I was actually able to sleep through the night without being woken up by noise!

Nevertheless, I will continue to observe the situation. Because too often a quiet phase was followed by a noisy phase. Example: After the last letter from the landlord, he was quiet for a few days. Then the noise nuisance continued and it got even worse.

The fact that I had an undisturbed sleep this time gives me hope that the situation will improve.

Translated with DeepL.com (free version)

Well, it only went well for one night (see my previous post). My watch shows 6:47am right now and I haven't slept since 4am. At least I managed to fall back asleep after the first slamming of the door, which happened at 1:40am. Around half past six I loudly reprimanded him because it was getting too much for me. I was able to control myself enough not to slam the doors myself in return. My alarm clock would have rung at 8:10am. Now I don't need to get back to bed to get any more sleep because I'm wide awake.