Neighbour brings me to the brink of a nervous breakdown

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Expand view Topic review: Neighbour brings me to the brink of a nervous breakdown

Re: Neighbour brings me to the brink of a nervous breakdown

by Selene310187 » Sat Dec 21, 2024 5:53 pm

Yesterday, I had my appointment with my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with insomnia and prescribed me a sleeping pill with the active ingredient daridorexant. He told me that it may take about 10 days before I feel any significant effect and that I should take it regularly. I had the feeling that he knew his stuff. Unlike my GP, he took the time to really listen to me. I have my next appointment with him towards the end of January to see how the medication has helped (if it works well, he would continue to prescribe it).

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Re: Neighbour brings me to the brink of a nervous breakdown

by Selene310187 » Wed Dec 18, 2024 7:45 am

Tonight, I tried a different method to make the neighbour quieter. First, I put myself in a calm state with the help of a meditation video. Then, when he slammed the door, I opened and closed mine quietly several times. Each time I opened the door, I said in a calm tone, for example, "door handle", "quiet", "we breathe in, we breathe out", "I am calm, you are calm" or "I am relaxed". I repeated the whole thing when he later slammed the door again. Then I used the meditation video to finally fall asleep. My sleep lasted about 5 hours (that's more than the night before). Of course, he was loud again much later (e.g. banging), but that was after I woke up. I told him I was already awake and repeated the words I said after his door slamming, but this time without opening and closing my door.

I then went to bed for a short while to relax. I listened to a meditation video with a meditation to start the day. This was followed by calm acoustic guitar music.

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Re: Neighbour brings me to the brink of a nervous breakdown

by Selene310187 » Mon Dec 16, 2024 8:59 pm

Today, I sent the noise log and the corresponding letter by mail. Now I have to wait and see. It's very likely that I won't be notified by the landlord until the new year.

Strangely enough, the Sleep With Me Podcast only worked once. The other two times I was wide awake while listening. Maybe I was already very tired the first time. I may have better results with bedtime stories in my native language.

Audio books, sleep meditation and autogenic training are also on the list of things I will gradually try out.

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Re: Neighbour brings me to the brink of a nervous breakdown

by Selene310187 » Sun Dec 15, 2024 12:02 am

A quiet night
Last night I tried the melatonin again and the neighbour was a little quieter (at least I hadn't noted anything in the noise log). I was able to sleep through the night for several hours.

A noisy morning and midday
In the morning and at lunchtime he was loud (banging and slamming the door several times). Then my mother came in around 1pm. She had finally noticed how he was making noise. When he realized that someone was visiting me, he kept very quiet. A short time later, my buddy arrived too.

Signing the noise log - driving to my mother's apartment
Both signed the completed letter to the landlord and the associated noise log as witnesses. The noise log covered a period of one month.

We then drove to my mother's apartment together, as the headboard of my new bed was supposed to go in her cellar (the bed wouldn't fit in my bedroom with the headboard - I had measured incorrectly at the time).

The Sleep With Me Podcast
A few days earlier, I spontaneously decided to spend the night at her place when I meet her on December 14. So I stayed with her and my buddy drove back home. I was a bit tired and tried out the "Sleep With Me Podcast" for the first time in the evening. It contains extra boring bedtime stories to help you fall asleep. After about 10 minutes of Marvin's Magic Bag, I was asleep. My nap lasted a few hours.

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Re: Neighbour brings me to the brink of a nervous breakdown

by Selene310187 » Fri Dec 13, 2024 11:14 am

Brown noise as sleep aid - neighbour's reaction
I had tried brown noise (this one) as a sleep aid that night. It worked a little. I was able to doze off. Until the neighbour stomped around violently at 1:45 am, which woke me up. After I turned the brown noise up a little, he suddenly stopped stomping. Strange. I left the brown noise on until the morning. At some point, he slammed the doors very hard. Did he not like the brown noise? It was at room volume. Are the apartments so badly soundproofed that he can hear that too? To be on the safe side, I'll use headphones next time.

Trying melatonin again - limiting screen time even further
The antidepressant had little or no effect as a sleeping pill this time. The fact that I was able to sleep better on Tuesday was probably more due to the fact that I had exhausted myself in rehab sports. I will stop taking the antidepressant for the time being and try melatonin again, but this time for longer than a few days and without the calming tea (it's too diuretic for me). I'm also trying to limit my screen time even further in the evening.

Do I have Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome?
I increasingly suspect that I might have Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS), which is more common in people with ADHD (source). Even if I go to bed much earlier, I usually fall asleep well after midnight. This was already the case before the problems with noise pollution started. I'm curious to see what my psychiatrist has to say about my assumption.

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Re: Neighbour brings me to the brink of a nervous breakdown

by Selene310187 » Thu Dec 12, 2024 7:29 am

It is a constant up and down. The death of the acquaintance (see my post in the Regulars' Table) is weighing heavily on me. On top of that, I ate too late and too much (to cope with the loss, I think). And so I couldn't sleep this time. Even if the neighbor had been quiet, I wouldn't have been able to sleep. This morning, after 7 am, we had a knocking duel and then I really lost it with screaming. After I calmed down again, I said audibly and without addressing anyone in particular that I needed to work on my anger. It's a good thing I have an appointment with my psychiatrist soon. Hopefully he will know what to do about this problem. At least I've managed to stop freaking out as often as I used to. I was able to keep calm for about three weeks in total. But the less sleep I get, the harder it is for me.

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Re: Neighbour brings me to the brink of a nervous breakdown

by Selene310187 » Wed Dec 11, 2024 9:07 am

It looks like I've had a bit of a breakthrough with my sleep problems today. This time I skipped the calming tea because I had to go to the toilet a lot the night before. I have the impression that by omitting the tea, the same dose of the antidepressant (10 drops) now had a stronger effect. I was able to sleep for about 5 - 6 hours at a time. I woke up because I had to go to the toilet. It took me over an hour to fall asleep again, but I did fall asleep again - something I rarely manage to do. I also put on warmer clothes, which made it easier to fall asleep, because it always took half an eternity for my body to get warm enough under the blanket.

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Re: Neighbour brings me to the brink of a nervous breakdown

by Selene310187 » Mon Dec 09, 2024 6:10 pm

I bought three different medications that should help sleep last week and the week before: melatonin, the doxylamine one (see previous post) and trimipramine (an antidepressant). The latter was prescribed by my doctor on December 3rd (I had seen her a second time because I needed something stronger). I researched whether I could take melatonin together with the antidepressant and found out that there can be interactions (i.e. the effect of one medication can be weakened by the other). So I only take one of the two regularly. I decided to take the antidepressant. I'm still working out the ideal dose. My doctor said I should take 5 drops about an hour before going to bed. I didn't think that was enough, because according to an article on ADxS.org, a dose of 10 to 25 drops is recommended (I also have ADHD, by the way).

When I took about 10 drops, I believe I was able to sleep better. I say “believe” because I'm not sure if it was much more because the neighbor held back on the days in question. I have to say, however, that I generally have problems feeling into myself. Yesterday, I took 15 drops of trimipramine and my heart started beating faster shortly afterwards. So 15 drops is already too much. I am therefore continuing to test the range between 5 and below 15 drops.

Today, I did a bit more research. ADHD in general can lead to various sleep problems:
Falling asleep
Staying asleep
Waking up
Source: https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-sleep-disturbances-symptoms/

Added to this is my sensitivity to noise and the difficulty I have in blocking out noises due to my autism. Both get worse with increasing sleep deprivation. It's a vicious circle.

So there are two things I need to work on: eliminating the noise and calming my mind when it's restless or my emotions have taken over. As for the noise, the next step is to submit the noise log to the landlord, which I want to do before my vacation. Regarding calming down, I'm hoping a few strategies from these two articles will help me, which I also found through my research today:
https://www.additudemag.com/how-to-relax-your-mind-adhd-overthinking/
https://www.additudemag.com/how-to-calm ... ques-adhd/

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Re: Neighbour brings me to the brink of a nervous breakdown

by Selene310187 » Fri Nov 29, 2024 7:02 pm

A paleofdye n wrote: Thu Nov 28, 2024 11:04 pm Sorry to learn about your sleep and neighbour issues, I feel for you! I have not been in your specific situation myself but I imagine it must be utterly terrible.
Thank you for your sympathy. Yes, living like that is terrible. My health is suffering, as is my ability to work. I saw my doctor today because of the persistent insomnia. She has put me on sick leave until Tuesday. I'm also supposed to take melatonin regularly about an hour before going to bed to regulate my sleep - I did this very irregularly before. According to my research, it can take two to three weeks before you notice any effect. So I have to be patient.
A paleofdye n wrote: Thu Nov 28, 2024 11:04 pmPerhaps one could record the noises the neighbour makes during the night with a mobile phone camera to show the landlord
Because the noises usually occur very suddenly, I don't have enough time to record them. However, I'm thinking about buying a security camera that can record the noises inside the apartment 24 hours a day (I read this suggestion in a post on Reddit).
A paleofdye n wrote: Thu Nov 28, 2024 11:04 pmtry sleeping with the TV turned on onto a music channel in your bedroom, the music might help smoothing out any sudden noises
I can't fall asleep to music because it distracts me. White noise or similar steady sounds seem to help me better, but only sometimes. I then combine earplugs with headphones that play the white noise. However, I may still wake up if the neighbour's noise was too loud. Some nights I try to sleep with just earplugs as the headphones feel uncomfortable when I'm lying on my side (I'm a side sleeper). I know there are sleep headphones with a headband, but I need to look into this more before I get some.
A paleofdye n wrote: Thu Nov 28, 2024 11:04 pmtry recovering from a week of sleeping poorly by sleeping all day (really the whole day) on every sunday, using some form of sleeping aid, (anti histamines which is basicly allergy medicine helps me sleep soundly and I would typically take it saturday night about an hour before going to bed and put some earpods on, I imagine some alcohol would do the same for other people. )
Because if you have one long sleep at least once a week it might help
Yesterday I tried a medication based on the antihistamine doxylamine. My body was tired, but my mind was not. When I went to bed at lunchtime today to relax, I actually fell asleep and was even able to sleep for two hours!

Nevertheless, I will try your suggestion, but initially only when I am off work or, as at the moment, on sick leave. Or I'll move this to a Saturday, because I usually sleep worse from Sunday to Monday as I'm awake much longer on Friday and Saturday. I find it very difficult to get used to going to bed earlier on Sunday.
A paleofdye n wrote: Thu Nov 28, 2024 11:04 pmtry asking a friend if its OK if you catch some sleep at his/her/their place during daytime on weekdays, might help

Best wishes !
I have a few friends who I might be able to bring up the subject with. Because I suspect it will be difficult with one of them because of his limitations. I don't want to burden the other one even more because he has a lot on his plate at the moment.

Every now and then, about once every one or two months, I spend the night at my mother's apartment. My grandpa is still there too. I've only had the opportunity to sleep in his guest room once so far when the noise pollution from the neighbour and his friends was very extreme.

I'm going back to my mother's on December 19 and will stay until the morning of Christmas Day (or was it the second day of Christmas?). I'll then spend the rest of my vacation with grandpa.

Re: Neighbour brings me to the brink of a nervous breakdown

by A paleofdye n » Thu Nov 28, 2024 11:04 pm

Sorry to learn about your sleep and neighbour issues, I feel for you! I have not been in your specific situation myself but I imagine it must be utterly terrible. Perhaps one could record the noises the neighbour makes during the night with a mobile phone camera to show the landlord

here are a few ideas that came in to my mind reading about your situation

try sleeping with the TV turned on onto a music channel in your bedroom, the music might help smoothing out any sudden noises

try recovering from a week of sleeping poorly by sleeping all day (really the whole day) on every sunday, using some form of sleeping aid, (anti histamines which is basicly allergy medicine helps me sleep soundly and I would typically take it saturday night about an hour before going to bed and put some earpods on, I imagine some alcohol would do the same for other people. )
Because if you have one long sleep at least once a week it might help

try asking a friend if its OK if you catch some sleep at his/her/their place during daytime on weekdays, might help

Best wishes !

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