Neighbour brings me to the brink of a nervous breakdown

[Selene310187]

I slept about an hour today (more than the night before at least). I think my current sleep problems are because I'm trying too hard to fight the noise from the neighbour at night. The beta-blocker probably also plays a role because it can have a negative effect on the body's melatonin production. I will therefore not take the beta-blocker today (at least not just before going to bed) and try to fight less against the noise (I have tried doing nothing at all - this has had little to no effect on his behaviour).

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[Selene310187]

I spent two hours in bed just trying to relax, partly with music through my headphones, partly without. The neighbour continued to make noise, of course. At 10.15 pm, I'd had enough of his antics and slammed the door of my wall unit really loudly, causing the objects inside to shake. I only did this once. There was dead silence for a moment. After that, I heard him, but the noises he was making weren't as loud as before.

This could become a new strategy: first lull the neighbour into a sense of security and then ‘strike’ briefly and loudly. I won't do this in the middle of the sleeping hours (the loud slamming of the the door of the wall unit was at the beginning of the sleeping hours) and I will be using this strategy only now and then (and only when he's making noise), otherwise I'll turn the other neighbours against me even more*.

* The neighbour next door suddenly started knocking loudly several times in succession at around 11 pm yesterday. I didn't know who it was at first. When I complained, I heard her laughing. I spoke to my mum about it. My mother said that the neighbour didn't have the right to just mimic me (more specifically my tantrums that I've had in the past). If it happened again, my mother would have a word with the neighbour.

That's why I was all the more restrained today when it came to my reaction to the noise from the neighbour above me: until now, I had briefly banged on the table a few times out of frustration when I was trying to concentrate on my work (I was working from home today as an exception). In the evening, I had kindly reminded him again not to slam the door (to emphasise my request and as a demonstration, I had quietly closed all my doors beforehand). Finally, the incident with the door of the wall unit followed.

As far as sleep is concerned, I try to stop forcing it and let it come to me. Last night, I was able to sleep more, but I don't know how much more, because I didn't look at the clock this time, because constantly looking at the clock puts you under additional stress.

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[Selene310187]

The night from 27 to 28 February and the morning of 28 February were very severe. There were a lot of very loud thuds. I could hear something being tinkered with. Then grinding noises. I heard him picking up another tool from the floor. Around half past seven in the morning it sounded like he was setting up the workpiece - it must be quite big. I told him to please do this kind of work at a time other than the middle of the night, that whenever I was about to fall asleep, I heard a thud so I couldn't sleep. After that he was quieter and I was able to sleep for about 1 hour.

No matter what I did, he didn't let himself be distracted from his work.

The following night was less severe. At around 4.40am, he banged the lid of the toilet very loudly. Shortly before that, he stamped on the floor several times (to wake me up?). This time I didn't react to his antics.

I didn't hear the DIY noises until after 10am (I heard a tool fall to the floor, among other things). When he slammed the door at a quarter to 11, I reminded him again that he should please not slam the door and that the door slamming was still loud despite earplugs and headphones. He then closed the door more quietly.

The last few days have made it all the more clear that I need to get my butt in gear when it comes to preparing for the future move (I've already done a few things, but some things I'm still putting off). I absolutely have to get out of this appartment. The longer I have to live there, the more my health suffers. My neighbour won't change fundamentally. There will always be moments that trigger me. I have no privacy because of the extremely thin walls. I really hope that the next appartment is better so that I can at least have some peace and quiet at night.

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[Selene310187]

Last night was exceptionally quiet. I don't know if it was because the neighbour is probably done with the noisy part of his DIY project or because I had pulled at his heartstrings, so to speak, the morning before. After he slammed the door again, I said to him, ‘Why are you torturing me? I see that as torture. What have I done to you?’. About 20 minutes later, I actually started crying loudly. Anyway, for almost two days now I've hardly heard the slamming of the door, and when it has been slammed, it hasn't been as loud as before. But I don't want to get my hopes up, because my hopes have been dashed too often.

Edit:

I knew it: the peace in the night was short-lived. Late that night, he started slamming the door again. He seems to be "addicted" to it. It's a good thing I'm going to my mum's on Thursday evening and will have some peace and quiet there at night.

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[Selene310187]

I am now on my way to my mother's and will stay with her for a week and a half. When I return, I'll get down to further preparations for a future move (today's conversation with my boss gave me a piece of my mind).

I drew up a roadmap for the move yesterday with a friend. We also collected the requirements for the new apartment in a list. My mother told me on the phone today that she had coincidentally also thought about these requirements. My No. 1 requirement is definitely better soundproofing, followed by the greatest possible distance from busy roads and other things. I'm curious to see what results she came up with.

Edit:

I arrived at my destination about half an hour ago. I'm now going to watch a few videos on YouTube and then go to bed.

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist tomorrow afternoon. I'm going to address the anxieties that are contributing to my slow progress in preparing for the move.